by Jacqui Flint
The new year has begun and the holiday celebrations are over. Everyone tries to remember to change the year when they write down the date. People make their resolutions and it is all very cliche. "I will lose weight this year, I will take better care of myself, and I will learn something new." The resolutions seem to last for about a month and then people settle back into the old habits they tried desperately to change.
I stopped making resolutions a long time ago and just set small goals for myself when I feel like there is something really important I need to work on. I wish I had the same control with Danice's case. The post holiday blues hit most people in the beginning of January. It hits my family and me especially hard. I still remember that day, five years ago when I received an email from my cousin asking if I knew about Danice. It was already three days after she had been missing. I never thought I would be saying the term "five years ago," and my sister in the same sentence. Nor did I think I would still be updating a website up in her honor. I can't help wishing I weren't because that might mean she had been found.
There is not a holiday that goes by when my family does not think about her. Christmas 2001 was the last time we saw her and thought she was really happy. We did not know what she was hiding. The holidays are not always a time of celebration for everyone in my family, especially my mother. I am fairly sure her father does not feel much like celebrating either. The loss is always felt, even if not always talked about.
The change in my life since Danice disappeared is not evident every day (that is not to say, I don't think about her all the time). I did not see her every day. The change is more subtle in the little events or feelings I have now. I cry more easily and perhaps feel more empathy towards people. I try to understand people better and enjoy days that don't always seem to be going the right way. I try not to take everything so seriously because I know there are much bigger issues at hand. Although, ask my friends and they might say differently.
I can only hope that someday, my writing about Danice will change. Perhaps there will be talk of the case and how the detectives finally found the person or persons responsible for her disappearance. Perhaps we will all feel justified. That would be a nice resolution for everyone.
